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Well I left off with Bella and now comes the rest of the story. The day after she died I got a call from her mother telling me about her death. I was driving along the road after getting coffee and got the phone call… Her mom said “are you sitting down”. I knew then something [...] I raced down there with fear in my heart and hands trembling. By the time I had gotten to the area where she was, The responses to my text messages and phone calls completely ceased. I waited at the agreed meeting place for two hours. I went back and forth between the two stores in the area of the same franchise but she never showed up. Unkknowingly I passed where she lay in a “friend of hers house” within 50 feet at least 3 to 4 [...] Here I am, once again with insomnia and feel the overwhelming need to write. I was having trouble sleeping so I decided to peruse the social mecca called ” Facebook”, since I have been using it to get in contact with people from my past that knew me before my pivot point and just expand [...] If you have the time and you just want to enjoy yourself without having to worry about nudity, Blah Blah Blah, Just go see the movie. I promise that if the price of two ticketts, a large popcorn and a soda saddens you that the movie will at least get you laughing until you have to remember where you parked your car. There are a few other significant things that have taken shape, transformed or [...] Im trying to see the lighter, brighter side of life but its still very grey. I keep thinking about whats ahead and the struggle that will still remain with letting go of what was along with going through it again in trying to help a friend find the way that is right for her. Its just bringing it all back. Its bringing the emotions, the thoughts, the step by step rundown of how my marriage ended. There are so many similarities there and there are so many instances where I could plop myself in her husbands shoes like as if it were happening all over again. Its hard and it sucks but what are friends for. Im still in that state of mind where I wish the world would just forget I ever existed or even me forgetting that there ever was a past history. If anyone knows how to get amnesia without a blunt trauma to the head then please speak up or else Im going to keep looking for it in the bottom of my oj and vodka cup with each one that empties and refills. [...] |
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